The Guilt of a Preemie Twin Mum

Yesterday I missed something, an event in Ethan’s school life that I should have been there for.  He received two certificates at premier assembly and I wasn’t there to see him standing up in front of everyone.  I didn’t see his face, searching for me in the crowd and smiling and me smiling back so proud.  I know there’ll be others and he’ll soon forget it but it really upset me. I was over emotional after a long week where I hadn’t felt well and was ready for a break, but there was something else behind that guilt. It was a guilt that has been there for six and a half years.

Ethan & Oliver Start School September 2016

When I posted the boys first day of school photo on Instagram/Facebook I said it was the day that I had been avoiding thinking about, in fact I was quite in denial about the whole thing.  Well not totally because I had bought their uniform and I knew it was going to come around.  I just really wasn’t ready, even if the boys had been ready for quite a while.  Actually they had been asking me for a whole year if they had finished nursery yet since some of their friends went to school in September 2015.